the purefinder - archives - Sat, 2004-06-19
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coefficient of fiction
I've been wanting to write other stuff for a while. I think that the other stuff is similar to that which is normally called fiction. Even my admission of this aspiration is quite a step.
I'm not sure what I've been scared of.
Actually it is, much, more accurate to say that I am not sure what I have been most scared of. I have certainly been reluctant to fail. I think I have also been reluctant to remove one of the inhibitions that I have placed on my writing - that it is about me and that therefore those who share their lives with me must be considered when I allow my thoughts out.
Some years ago I had a spell where I read extensively about psychopathology - the abnormal workings of the mind. I think it is the sort of thing that young men do. I discovered that mental illnesses were categorised on the basis of an examination of symptons and that there existed a book that listed all of the myriad manifestations of madness - the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, which is published by the American Psychiatric Association.
When reading the book, I was particularly grabbed by 'thought broadcasting' - a delusional fear that our thoughts are not contained securely within our minds. It struck me as interesting that when we lose control of our minds we may betray our habitual fear of others having access to our raw and unfiltered thought.
It is a scary prospect.
I'm interested in experimenting with writing in other voices. I'm generally very happy with the, qualified, polite and parenthesised, voice I write with - it is the one I talk to myself with. I suspect that writing in a voice that is obviously not my own might provide me with some apparent distance from me and might allow me to write some of the things that I think about, but which I'd rather not broadcast in a wholly unfiltered fashion.
I'll sharpen my pencil.