the purefinder - archives - Sun, 2004-07-25
« in leaf | Main | I laughed at those fools »July 25, 2004
more nonsense soon
I haven't written anything for a while and I'm not sure I can produce a good excuse for my lapse. I'll try.
I think the reason why I dried up was probably hinted at in the final paragraph of the last/previous thing I wrote - where I confessed that I had been feeling burdened and vulnerable. The drawing to a close of the school term had made me keenly aware that I would be soon be going to college. In truth, for much of the last few months I have felt sufficiently burdened and the prospect of change and additional challenges, complexities and difficulties entering my life terrified me. I reminded myself, as much as I could, that once Barbara's chemotherapy had finished, and the effects of these tilts at toxicity had abated, *things* would be different. (I'm amused by how well "*things*" serves as a euphemism for my life and my perception of it.)
Happily, it was true. Barbara is now better than she has been in months and now that the school term has ebbed away past its completion I seem to be able to *relax* again. (I am less amused by how well "*relax*" serves as a euphemism for not-panicing.)
Anyway - I seem to have *surfaced*.
I've bought *all* the CDs.
I've battled with Linux and audio applications and I am currently close to victory.
I've played my guitar noisily and frequently and mostly badly.
After having avoided these things for years, I've had my second cold in a month and I've been unable to go to the gym.
I've been to see raucous punk bands and I have made arrangements to see more of these.
I'm going up a mountain later in the week.
Expect more nonsense soon.
Posted by padraig at July 25, 2004 06:43 PM